My birthday is Saturday. I'm not really looking forward to it. It's difficult when your birthday is this late in the year, especially where mine falls which is on or around Thanksgiving and also incredibly close to finals. This makes planning things difficult. This makes people back out of doing something with me for my birthday. This makes people unable to do anything with me on my birthday.

Not that I blame them, I mean come on, it's Thanksgiving. I'm not going to ask my friends to ditch their families and come spend the day with me on Thanksgiving and lord knows no one wants to go out the day after unless they're shopping.

IDK MAN IDK.

I'm happy, but I'm still dragging my feet. I'm excited, but I don't expect anything.

I never do expect anything from people. I don't expect people to buy me birthday gifts or remember when it is without the help of Facebook, I don't expect people to invite me places, I don't expect people to offer to do things for me or with me. I'm not sure if I've always been this way or if this trait just sort of developed over the years.

I don't know, but whatever. Once again, I expect nothing. It's easier too. It makes it sting a little less when your friends - good friends, close friends, best friends - forget.

So while Steam is off doing it's thing so I can play Borderlands (jklJFDKSLJFLSDKAFDOMGYAY), I figured maybe I should update this thing since it's been awhile.

ANYWAY. Life is good. : D]

Work is lovely. Family is lovely. RL friends are...almost lovely. Online friends are ALWAYS lovely. Boyfriend is amazing and lovely and I love hiiiiim. <333333

jfkdlajfds

OK. REAL UPDATE LATER I GUESS SINCE BORDERLANDS IS DOOOOOOOOOOONE. HELL. YEAH. : D!

I WANT THIS GAME LIKE BURNING.

PLZ TO BE SUBBED SOON, TRAILER. WRY THAT GUY LOOK LIKE ROCKSAUCE??? FJDKSLAJF. D:

Today I played video games. I got my paycheck. I went to Target to pick up prescriptions and picture frames. I took a nap. I went to work.

Today I did not have class. I did not panic because it looked like it was going to rain before practice. I did not go to the trailer early to help with uniforms. I did not listen to the band director tell us about how the first game of the season is going to play out. I did not feel the excitement at the end of practice, that's if there even was practice (who knows with the rain), when everyone is called to attention for dismissal. I did not help load the truck. I did not spend the night at Megan's so I wouldn't have to wake up at the crack of dawn so I could drive to campus and be on the field by eight in the morning.

Tomorrow I will sleep in. I will paint. I will go to a barbeque.

Tomorrow is the first football game of the season. I will not wake up at 7:30 wishing I could sleep for just a few more minutes. I will not drag myself to the field and be in circles by 8. I will not do block. I will not participate in the first gameday toes of the season. I will not work my ass off for the hour and a half or so of practice before the game. I will not help serve lunch. I will not huddle in the trailer with the sisters and fret over uniforms and last minute preparations. I will not have lunch in the rehearsal hall with my friends. I will not meet by the union for circles. I will not play the first "official" runthrough in front of the union for the crowd. I will not march through the drunken and kind of hilarious tailgaters. I will not be on the field for the first pregame show of the season. I will not be in the stands talking with my friends. I will not play the fight song. I will not complain about having to play the Chant over and over and over and over and over again and DEAR GOD CAN WE PLEASE PLAY SOMETHING ELSE. I will not be on the field to perform the first halftime show of the season. I will not be there at the end of the game to sing the alma mater. I will not load the truck and hitch a ride back to the trailer with the sisters from one of the shuttles.

Today I missed band. Today I missed my friends. Tomorrow I will miss it all even more.

We went to my aunt's for dinner today. Everyone was there. She leaves tomorrow morning.

fjdkslajfsdljfdlsjfjdfs D:

Today was a bad day and I feel like shit. This entire week has been shit.

For a lot of reasons I don't feel like getting into right now I decided not to go back to school this semester. I thought a break would be good for me - I could get my head straight and really figure out my life. I'm in a much better place now and ultimately I do not regret my decision. It was, I think, the right thing for me to do.

...But I miss everyone. A lot.

I am/was/whatever incredibly involved on campus. I'm in a sorority and I am a member of the marching band (because I'm a dork : D) and I miss it SO much. I look at pictures on facebook and stuff and I just feel empty and sad and lonely and depressed. I didn't get to go to band camp this year, I didn't get to complain about the heat or the terrible "band tan" I was going to get, I didn't get to wander to the marketplace with everyone for lunch and enjoy the hour of sweet, sweet A/C, I didn't get to hear the first note of the season.

There is something to be said about that note. It is the most beautiful, exciting, and worst sound EVER. And for the first time in over seven years...I wasn't there for it. Because I chose not to be this year. And it hurts. And I miss it. And I want nothing more than to be on that field surrounded by my friends. My friends who I consider family.

I knew when I decided not to go back until the spring that I would miss band. That I would miss school itself - the campus and the people. Hell, I miss the struggle to find a parking spot and I even miss the forty-five minute drive.

I didn't know I would miss it this much.

Oh.

My aunt and cousins are moving back to New York. Perhaps this doesn't sound very traumatic to most of you, but...well...

Ok, I'm Italian, guys. I am VERY close to my family. Very, very close. I do not have one set of parents. I have four. I am an only child, but I still have seven brothers and sisters. We are close, ok.

My cousins left awhile ago. We didn't know they weren't going to come back. They went for vacation and...everything just sort of worked out when they got up there. So...we didn't get to really say goodbye to them. My aunt leaves Saturday. Today we packed the last few things in her house. It's empty now. And it is incredibly sad.

I just....

fkdsjfskldfdsja


TL;DR - FML

womb

Comment to this entry and I'll pick three of your fandoms. You must then update your journal and answer the following questions:

01: What got you into this fandom in the first place?
02: Do you think you'll stay in this fandom or eventually move on?
03: Favorite episodes/books/movies/etc.?
04: Do you participate in this fandom (fanfiction, graphics, discussions)?
05: Do you think that more people should get into this fandom?

maiiau chose...

Kingdom Hearts
1) Well, the first Kingdom Hearts was one of the first games I got for my ps2. I'm a sucker for EVERYTHING Disney. I played it and absolutely fell in love. So I guess my love for everything Disney was how that happened. XD;
2) I've been with it since the beginning. I'm sure eventually I'll move on, but not for a long time.
3) Pretty much everything involving Axel in CoM because his character was just AMAZING. He's such a manipulative bastard and I love him. XD; The end of Roxas' story in his own virtual hell. After Sora wakes up and meets Hayner, Pence and Olette and HE CRIES BECAUSE ROXAS IS SO SAD. ;A; There's more, but I can't think of them right now. XD;
4) Yeeeep. Fanfic, RP, iconsssss.
5) hahahaha. There's enough already. KTHX. But it wouldn't be bad if more people did.

Persona 4
1) DRUNK. HE DID IT. IT'S ALL HIS FAULT. XD Trufax are true.
2) Haha, considering I've only just got into it, I'll be around for awhile.
3) EVERYTHING WITH NAOTO. Um. No, really. The class trips, the culture festival, KANJI BEING AWESOME, YOSUKE BEING YOSUKE, NANAKO BEING PAINFULLY ADORABLE ALL THE TIME, being happy to figure things out while being simultaneously crushed by the part that GIANT SPOILER had to do with everything.
4) Mhmm! Fanfic, RP, art stuffs, icons
5) YES. MOAR P4 EVERYWHERE PLZ. XD

Ouran High School Host Club
1) I can't really remember what got me into it in the first place. I just kept seeing icons everywhere, mostly Tamaki ones with his corner pouting of doom and puppy faces and...yeah, just Tamaki being Tamaki. I wanted to know wtf it was and what OHSHC stood for because I kept seeing it everywhere.
2) I've been in and out of this fandom, but I love it and I'll probably be around for a bit more.
3) OH GOD. Um, everything ever with the twins. No, seriously. I LOVE watching how they grew as characters. They've both really come a long way since the beginning of the series and it was wonderful to see them grow as individuals. ALSO LOL TAMAKI. The last episode of the anime was just jfdkasfljksd. There's more, but...I can't think of them right now.
4) Most definitely. Icons, RP, a bit of fic.
5) haha yeah, if they bring cool stuff with them. There's a lot of the same old same old goin' on. : D

SO.

I.

NOW HAVE.

A PAID ACCOUNT FOR NAOTO.

FJDKSAFJDSAJF;ADSFD

BECAUSEMELISTHEBESTPERSONEVERANDGOTMEONEFORTWOMONTHSHOLYCRAP.

HFDJSAKHFDSHFDSHAFSD.

THANKYOUMELXINFINITY.

/end spazz.

STOLEN FROM o0famous_amos0o

Talk to my characters. Ask them something. Give them a subject. They'll at least give you their two cents back. No guarantees on whether they'll be telling the truth, or actually answering the question, or even giving you more than a mono-syllable response..... But they will respond~ ♥

THE LIST.

Roxas thirteen_xiii
Kaoru Hitachiin twin_number_2
Dr. Gregory House moarvicodin
Naoto Shirogane prinveoffortune
Chie Satonaka nochieever
Ned the Pie Maker stressbaker

Dirty computer screens. It's a problem, folks.

And I, Chris, have found the perfect solution. NO MORE RAGS, NO MORE DUSTERS, NO MORE SMELLY CLEANERS THAT GIVE YOU HEADACHES, NO MORE SHAMWOWS.

This. This is all you need.

THE AMAZING SCREEN CLEAN!

FFFFFFFFFF SCHOOL.

fjskl

GDIT ERIC WHITACRE STOP BEING AMAZING.

Fucking. October. Every. Time. ;O;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Txygz0XLY2s&NR=1

I love Eric Whitacre. He composes some of the most beautiful, emotional, songs I have ever heard. The way he uses chords in his pieces is just...amazing. This song, Sleep, makes me cry. It's one of my favorites by him. This and October.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhCS7etNEbU


Go. Watch. Enjoy. Love.

Give me a character I play and a question/topic about them and I will answer according to my own personal canon. This can range from their birthday, favorite color or even their earliest memory up to what they had last night for dinner.

( MEME GET! )

jfkdsl;afjkd ;a

THIS TEST. WILL KILL ME. OMG.

*STRESSSTRESSSTRESS*